Stop Trying to “Get Back to the Old You” After Having a Baby
- Mafalda Novo
- Feb 14
- 2 min read
“You are meant to change in motherhood. It’s your matrescence. You can’t ‘get back' to the old you. And the quickest way to find your confidence again is to stop trying.” — Zoe Blaskey
Do you feel like you’ve lost yourself since becoming a mother?
Like your confidence, your energy, and even your identity are no longer yours?
You’re not failing—you’re experiencing matrescence, the natural, sometimes messy transformation into motherhood.
And Zoe’s words remind us that trying to go back only leaves you:
Frustrated with your body and energy
Overwhelmed by impossible expectations
Disconnected from who you’ve become
The quickest way to reclaim confidence? Stop trying to reclaim the past.
Tips to Navigate Matrescence and Embrace Your New Self
Acknowledge the Change
Accept that who you are now is different from who you were.
Grieving your old self is part of the process.
Prioritise Self-Care
Even small moments matter: a quiet cup of tea, a short walk, journalling.
Connect with Other Mothers
Sharing experiences validates your feelings and reminds you that you’re not alone.
Reflect on Your Strengths
List ways you’ve grown emotionally, mentally, or practically since becoming a mother. Celebrate them.
Set Boundaries
Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for preserving your energy and confidence.
Embrace New Routines
Adapt old habits to fit your new life, rather than forcing the old ways to fit you.
Seek Guidance – A coach, mentor, or supportive programme can help you navigate the emotional, personal, and career shifts with clarity.
Instead of trying to go back to who you were, embrace your new you:
Celebrate the growth you’ve gained, even if it feels invisible
Learn to thrive in your new identity, not just survive it
Rediscover the strengths that only motherhood could have given you
I created my one-year “Embracing Motherhood” programme to guide mothers through these exact challenges.
Across 12 online coaching sessions and reflective workbooks, this programme helps you:
Navigate emotional shifts during pregnancy, early motherhood, and returning to work
Rebuild confidence, self-worth, and personal boundaries
Integrate motherhood and career with clarity and balance
Reflect, grow, and step fully into the woman you are becoming
If you’re ready to stop fighting the change and start thriving in it, this programme gives you the tools, guidance, and support to embrace your new self with confidence.
Your new self is waiting. Are you ready to meet her?
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