When Loss Changes the Lens: Reflections on Life, Parenting, and Presence

Mafalda Novo
Mar 16
3 min read

Some life moments change everything.

Recently, my father passed away suddenly.

This experience has made me reflect deeply on life, parenting, and the values we live by every day.

This is the most personal article I have written so far, but I felt it was important to share.

Perhaps it may invite you to pause and reflect too.

Some life moments change everything. They change how we see our days, our priorities, our relationships, and even ourselves.

My father passed away suddenly. It’s blunt, but it was exactly as hard as it sounds.

I have never written an article with such an open heart before.

But as I reflect on who my father was as a person, how he lived his life, how he showed up for others, and how people perceived him, it does something powerful inside me.

Besides making me the proudest daughter, it also makes me think that I want to be more like him.

I want to continue the kind of presence he brought into the world.

He was a man who showed his emotions and never hid how much he cared for people. And that was only one of the many qualities that defined him.

These recent reflections about life and death, family relationships, and the bonds of friendship are making me dive deeper into who I am — my values, how I want to live my life, what changes I want and need to make, and how all of this will impact my relationship with my children. It also makes me reflect on my career and the work I do.

So many of us have gone through life-transforming experiences like this, and others will eventually face them too. These are the common human experiences that unite us — both in pain and in love.

And you may ask:

What does this have to do with my work as a coach? Everything.

Many mothers and fathers are living incredibly busy lives.

We rush from one responsibility to the next, responding to constant demands.

Life goes on autopilot.

We juggle being parents while also being daughters and sons ourselves.

And often there is very little time to stop and reflect on what we truly want, wish for, or hope to create in our lives.

At this moment, I feel like I’m at the peak of a roller coaster — a place where everything suddenly shifts.

I need to adjust my expectations, my personal demands, my sense of self, and my awareness of what is happening to me during this time of transition. It feels less like a small change and more like a profound transformation.

It is as if the roller coaster car keeps climbing higher and higher, and I know that at some point it will slide down at full speed. I won’t have much control over it.

All I can do is hold tight, take in the view, and navigate what comes with resilience and kindness.

I know that the person I am being now, and the person I will become as a result of this experience, is shaping who I am as both a parent and a professional.

So I must observe my path and the steps I choose to take.

I want to make the most of what I have been given, knowing that my children are watching.

They are learning from how I conduct myself during this period of my life, and in many ways I am modelling the mindset they will carry into their own lives.

So today I invite you to reflect too.